Fuck you Tom Cruise

So tomorrow I start training. I'm on my way to becoming the next Shakira. The next Fiona Apple. The next Avril Lavigne. So tonight, I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm going to eat some white chocolate, then I'm going to just sit around on my ass and watch some t.v. Tomorrow, though, I have to exercise and cut back on everything. I have been a vegetarian for almost two weeks now. I haven't eaten any meat, except for the muffin I had yesterday, which was made with eggs. I felt a little bad, but I'm okay. Starting tomorrow, I won't eat anything made with eggs and I won't eat any more chocolate. Chocolate is what I've been eating since I can't eat skittles or gummy bears or anything else like that, which sucks. But I'll get used to it.

I just feel like I'm getting old. In less than a year, I'll be 25 and I still don't have a record deal and I still haven't made a major motion picture (or even a good independent film). I feel like I don't have much time left. I have to work harder. I'm such a dipshit sometimes. I talk about what I want and write about it all the time, but do nothing to try to get there. But all of that changes tomorrow.

The first thing I'm going to do tomorrow morning is work out to my pilates/yoga dvd. Then I have to make some phone calls about appointments. I'm going back to therapy, hopefully at U of C, and I'm getting back on medication. Fuck you Tom Cruise. You're being glib! It's just that when I'm on the medicine, I can focus and I can make real decisions and I'm not as bitchy. I need to go back on the medicine. I can't fuck around anymore. I'm getting old!

Also, I'm going to work on my demo. I will be the next Shakira! Whenever wherever!